How to Write Really Long E-mails

My friends say that my e-mails are long. It’s a talent, if I say so myself. Of course, some say that it’s too long and that they’re burdened to reply, but I found that it might be useful in the business world, making it seem as though I really cared about my work. I might get a raise if the boss thinks that I spent the time to reply with thought and care! So for those who are living in the working world, here are three tips on how to write a long e-mail:

  1. Use long words: It makes the content longer and makes you look intellectual. I, for one, can’t think of three synonyms for ‘like’, but with the help of my handy thesaurus installed on my computer, I can replace it with smart words like ‘admire’, ‘respect’, and ‘esteem’. Look, I look like I ‘have the air of being someone’ who graduated from Harvard!
  2. Use enters: It doesn’t add any content but makes your e-mail longer, as in literally in length. When the receiver sees that he/she actually has to scroll down to read the whole e-mail, they’ll already get the impression that your e-mail is long, even if half of it is empty space. Works like a charm.
  3. Ask questions: Whenever you run out of things to say, ask questions. It makes the e-mail personal and allows them to have something to say.
So this is how I write my trademark super-long e-mails. I hope this helps you too. Tell me when you get a raise!
K
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About The Empty Notebook

I'm a hopeful illustrator who wishes to change the world through art. I suppose, though, that I'll have to start simple - one sketch at a time.
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One Response to How to Write Really Long E-mails

  1. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn something like this before. So good to find somebody with some original ideas on this subject. realy thank you for starting this up. this website is something that’s wanted on the web, somebody with just a little originality. useful job for bringing something new to the web!

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